This blog is intended to share stories regarding Richard and his life's work. Names are not necessary.
You are welcome to share yours but please refrain from using other's inappropriately.
|
|
10/22/2009
Dick and I have been long time members of this church family. We also spent many years, along with many of you, in prisons with Alternative to Violence Program. Easily the most challenging, satisfying, the most inspiring work I have ever done. I also knew Dick as a fellow learner of Restorative Justice. I may have known Dick better than some of you, but many of you knew him far better than I. Actually, I am not sure, in the end, that it matters very much. Look around- we are all here because we have been affected by Dick in some way. Some of those ways have been shared beautifully already.
In spite of overwhelming tragedy and loss, there was a quality about Dick that was almost childlike. I experienced Dick as open, optimistic, trusting, brave and persistent. He touched each one of us, either by our experience of him or the example he set.
As I think of Dick I appreciated his willingness to take risks, his willingness to be in uncomfortable places, working tirelessly for what he believed in. In the process, he invited us along.
It was Dick who invited me to participate in an AVP at MCI in the Special Housing Unit, the first time AVP would work with that population in Concord. I initially agreed, but then found out an inmate serving time for a particularly heinous crime would be attending. Every part of me screamed "NO! I can't do this!" Dick listened without judgment and left the door open for my participation. No pressure, just patience.
Dick had a purpose in life. More importantly, he discovered what that purpose was It was shaped by his life experiences. He chose not to be defeated by what had happened to him, but to let that experience help to mold him for the greater good. I have been privileged to know a few people who have achieved that level of clarity and chose to act upon it. I think that is where Dick's openness, energy and peace came from. What he chose to do with his life experiences is his gift to us. Whatever he may have inspired us to do or act on or work towards I see as a ripple effect of his life. Look around at all who are here .. we are ripples created by his presence and example. And we can be ripples for hundreds of others.
Dick has raised the bar on what it means to set an example, he did it in a quiet but profound
way. We are all blessed to have known him.
October 8, 2009
Dear Betty,
I am sorry to be so far away - my husband and I are in Colorado for the month. (my home state.) Not my body but my heart and soul will be with all of you at Dick's service next week. Thank you so much for all you have done to keep me and many others in this caring, loving circle of Dick's friends.
We will keep his work and spirit going!
Blessings,
Carolyn Shohet
==============================
The following is from the Director of treatment MCI Concord
Subject: Re: Fwd: Funeral arrangements for Dick Nethercut
I will be out of state on a scheduled trip- however Dick and his family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the information and my deepest sympathy to all of Dicks family and friends.
==========================================
From: "Dale Martin
Betty,
Thank you. I am sorry I do not think that I can attend.
Below is a note I got from Jean Temple who has had the same heart surgery twice now.
Dale, Thank you so much for keeping us informed. I am so sorry it turned out this way. I had hoped for better but the longer time went on the more discouraged I got. He was a special person and I know everyone will miss him. I'm glad I wrote him a little note a few weeks ago and we had a nice conversation as a result. Thanks to you......Jean
Dale
==========================
From: "Anne Nash"
|
Nancy, thanks for continuing to send information. Unfortunately I will be in Phila. from Thurs to Sat. of that weekend so will not be able to attend. I will think of you all as you celebrate Dick's life. I heard from Marguarite that he was honored recently at Norfolk...as well he should be! Peace, Anne |
===========================
10/9/09
Dear Nancy,
I am sorry to be writing to you at this difficult time. Keith Harvey forwarded the email to me. I worked with him on prison and death penalty issues from the days when the AVP office was at AFSC. I am Native American, and in our tradition, we try not to use the name of our loved one for a year after they pass so they can make a safe journey across.
I wanted to be at the funeral, but I am the keynote speaker for the South Dakota Peace and Justice Coalition's annual conference. Over this past few
weeks I have thought about what our friend has taught me and wanted to share it with you.
Often times we get power confused with authority and our friend never did. When the man who took the life of his daughter was freed, he claimed his
power to forgive and to bring peace. He recognized this great gift of the real power we have as human beings, to love, to forgive and to build peace
among friends, neighbors and even those who have failed us all in the most profound ways. He taught me that we are all the most powerful when we are
building peace.
Our friend was loved and will be deeply missed, but we have another "grandfather" journeying to the other side who will continue to guide us in this work. I will be in the South Dakota maximum security prison with the Native men there at the time of your ceremony, we will pray with you.
Sankewitahasuwakon Noluwiw (Peace Everywhere)
Jamie Bissonette, Director
Healing Justice Program
American Friends Service Committee
New England Region
From Mike Poirier
Dear Betty,
I wanted someone out there to know that I will not be able to attend the services for Dick. My new job is none to happy already that I have two court dates and a VA medical trip in the next two weeks. I have a previous speaking engagement on Thursday evening that I am trying to reschedule but it does not look good.
Naida and I are both deeply saddened by this loss but believe he is home with Christ a much better place than this world can ever be.
Mike P.
A long sad journey has brought us here today. Last spring after his surgery, Dick proclaimed that he was now ready for another 20 years. He acknowledged that the drive to Norfolk was beginning to be a worry. Some of us had been worried about it for a while. He looked forward to returning to MCI – Concord to facilitate the Alternatives to Violence Project. His disappearance, the hours, days and weeks of worry and not knowing were so hard on us all.
Today, we have come to celebrate this man whose life exemplifies faith, forgiveness, community, and restorative justice. In honoring Dick we take time to name his gifts and to reflect on ways in which we can each carry on his spirit and his work.
Through his personal journey of forgiveness and reconciliation, Dick came to base his life on an experiential knowing that we are all deeply interconnected across society’s barriers of race, creed, class and crime. He lived the teachings on Crime and Punishment that Kahlil Gibran wrote in the Prophet: I have paraphrased a bit to make the language inclusive:
On Crime and Punishment
From the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Then one of the judges of the city stood forth and said, Speak to us of Crime and Punishment,
And he answered, saying:
Often times have I heard us speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of us, but a stranger and an intruder upon our world.
But I say that even as the holy and the righteous cannot rise beyond that highest which is in each one of us,
So the wicked and the weak cannot fall lower that the lowest which is in us also.
A single leaf turns not yellow but with the silent knowledge of the whole tree,
So the wrong-doer cannot do wrong without our hidden will.
Like a procession we walk together towards our god-self.
We are the way and the wayfarers.
And when one of us falls down he falls for those behind him, a caution against the stumbling stone.
Ay, and he falls for those ahead of him. Who though faster and surer of foot, yet removed not the stumbling block.
We cannot separate the just from the unjust and the good from the wicked:
For we stand together before the face of the sun even as the black thread and the white are woven together.
And when the black thread breaks, the weaver shall look into the whole cloth, and he shall examine the loom also.
If any of us would punish in the name of righteousness and lay the ax unto the evil tree, let us see to its roots;
And verily we will find the roots of the good and the bad, the fruitful and the fruitless, all entwined together in the silent heart of the earth.
We who would understand justice, how shall we unless we look upon all deeds in the fullness of light?
Only then shall we know that the erect and the fallen are but one standing in twilight between that night of our child self and the day of our god-self,
Dick did his best to be the change he wanted to see in the world not only in his dedication to this important work but also in his personal relationships. As I look around this gathering and see family, church, volunteers, ex-mates, Department of Corrections folks and neighbors, I actually see only Dick’s friends. At the end of AVP weekends, we often do a yarn toss and I ask you all to imagine we are in a circle with a huge ball of yarn that we pass back and forth, across and around until everyone has been included and it comes back to the first person. We each hold our bit and tug just enough to feel the connection to the whole web. We take a moment to deeply feel the connections of our hearts.
Our web today was woven by Dick. May we all go out a bit more able to weave inclusive, tender, compassionate webs of our own.
10/19/2009
Eulogy for Richard Nethercut
October 16, 2009
I recently opened a fortune cookie and it read that I would feel "at peace having talked with an old friend." I instantly thought of Dick and the many times, after having spoken with him, that I felt just that - at peace. As for the old friend - the only thing old about Dick was the 83 years – roughly 44 million minutes - in which he made this world brighter for us all.
I have enjoyed many memories since opening that cookie, all filled with Dick’s radiant smile and the immense joy that would cross his face after a good joke, witty comment, or an off-the-cuff thought. He so loved to engage in thought-provoking conversations or healthy debate. And his facial expressions were priceless.
I’ve had the privilege of knowing Dick for most of my adult life. He was like a grandfather to me - I even called him “Gramps” when we weren't doing business, and I cherish, and am ever grateful for that title. Dick will always hold a special place in my heart - not only for the help he gave me - but also for the extraordinary person he was. When I had no one to turn to, it was Dick who showed up at the train station one bitter winter night and showed me the warmth of his home and his heart. It doesn’t matter who you are - or where you’re from - or what roads you’ve traveled - no one can walk this life alone, and if you were lucky enough to have been touched by Dick Nethercut, your walk has been a blessed one.
Dick just didn’t give up on you, and even if you fell, he would pick you up, dust you off, and put you on the right path again. Was he perfect? No, although he tried harder than most. There were necessary reality checks at times when he was overly anxious, or a bit too aggressive with his opinions or the way he wanted things done. But even in his weaknesses, Dick was able to accept, apologize and move on, ever weary of his mistakes yet bold enough to “press ahead”, as Scriptures says, to the prize that awaited him if only he persevered. Dick’s perseverance won hearts; reformed men and women’s lives; united foreign policy; brought closure and forgiveness to what was for him his greatest loss; and brought him to a place in his life that many of us may never attain - a place of peace and a sense of balance with his world and his God.
Every time I had breakfast with him at Denny’s or planned with him at board meetings, or worshipped with him at church or Gates Unbarred meetings, his peace became my peace. What an awesome gift to receive and share. And I was but one of many recipients - he was not prejudiced nor did he play favorites. I think if you were to line up every member of Gates Unbarred Fellowship they would each give you their unique testimony of Dick’s impact on their lives. From its humble beginnings, Gates Unbarred became and continues to be a pillar of strength for hundreds of inmates with Dick as its cornerstone. While the current leadership is blessed to carry out its responsibilities, its not us that come to mind when someone says Gates Unbarred Fellowship - but rather its founder, Richard Jarrett; its spiritual compass, Buzz Taylor; and its heart and soul, Dick Nethercut. And mark my words, his spirit will continue to keep our hearts beating as we carry on the ministry without him.
One of my all-time favorite movies is The Shawshank Redemption. At the end of the movie Morgan Freeman narrates about Tim Robbin's escape. He says, "I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend." Now that Dick is gone I too miss my friend, my gramps, my “Radiant Rich”, and the place we live in is indeed that much more drab and empty without him.
Dick taught us humility, respect, and genuine forgiveness. He was truly one-of-a-kind and even though he was not a celebrity whose life is remembered by millions, the many who will remember him will carry on the legacy of one "radiant" man who held the torch of his life proudly and with great dignity into the woods of his passing.
Tim Wilson
“Adopted” grandson and dear friend 10/17/2009
I am sorry to be writing to you at this difficult time. Keith Harvey forwarded the email to me. I worked with him on prison and death penalty issues from the days when the AVP office was at AFSC. I am Native American, and in our tradition, we try not to use the name of our loved one for a year after they pass so they can make a safe journey across.
I wanted to be at the funeral, but I am the keynote speaker for the South Dakota Peace and Justice Coalition's annual conference. Over this past few
weeks I have thought about what our friend has taught me and wanted to share it with you.
Often times we get power confused with authority and our friend never did. When the man who took the life of his daughter was freed, he claimed his
power to forgive and to bring peace. He recognized this great gift of the real power we have as human beings, to love, to forgive and to build peace
among friends, neighbors and even those who have failed us all in the most profound ways. He taught me that we are all the most powerful when we are
building peace.
Our friend was loved and will be deeply missed, but we have another "grandfather" journeying to the other side who will continue to guide us in this work. I will be in the South Dakota maximum security prison with the Native men there at the time of your ceremony, we will pray with you.
Sankewitahasuwakon Noluwiw (Peace Everywhere)
Jamie Bissonette, Director
Healing Justice Program
American Friends Service Committee
New England Region 10/13/2009
Dick Nethercut was the dearest man and truest friend. He was an angel of compassion and forgiveness on this earth. We will not meet the likes of him again.
Before Dick inspired me to become an AVP facilitator, I knew him as a friend in the Town of Groton where we both once lived. He impressed me from the start because of his fine manners and his graciousness toward others in all types of situations. We served for many years together on the Groton Democratic Town Committee. Dick believed in public service and in making the world more peaceful. He was active in the effort to reduce nuclear weapons, and he supported candidates who wanted to do the same. When he left Groton to move to Concord, many people came to the farewell party hosted for him by the Groton Democrats, and it was not only Democrats who attended. Everyone admired and liked Dick.
When I saw the Channel 5 Chronicle show in 1997, featuring Dick and how he handled the resulting anger from the rape and murder of his beloved daughter, my interest in becoming a prison volunteer was sparked, but it wasn’t until 2006 that I participated in my first AVP workshop. Dick was the lead facilitator for that Basic workshop that was held at MCI Shirley Medium. I knew by the end of that workshop that I wanted to continue as an AVP volunteer.
Being an AVP facilitator has changed my life. Dick was the inspiration for that change, and the person who convinced me to join the AVP MA board as secretary. Saying “no” to Dick is not easy, and I felt I owed him my help because he had taken over as chairperson of the Groton Democratic Town Committee many years earlier when I could not remain in that role, and he stayed in the role of chair for twelve years. Dick was always effective at meetings and very patient in getting others to see his point of view. He was a natural to move into positions of leadership after he became involved in AVP, such as President of AVP MA and President of AVP USA. He was the Treasurer of AVP MA when he passed away. We will dearly miss our friend Dick on the AVP MA board, and the men (who cannot add their remembrances to this page) inside the prisons in Concord, Shirley, Norfolk, and Bridgewater where he facilitated AVP workshops will also miss him.
My introduction to Dick was when I attended an AVP Basic workshop as an outside participant at MCI Shirley that Dick was leading. Not knowing what to expect, I like many inmates frantically searched for an adjective name during the exercise Friday evening, coming up with “Radiant” at the last minute. To my surprise, when Dick’s turn came, he introduced himself as Radiant Rich. As I think it was for all who met Dick, I felt an immediate kinship with him and was caught up with his passion for the program. I signed up on the spot for the Advanced workshop. Dick was an inspiriting individual and at the same time a down-to-earth participant in life. He will always hold a special place in my heart. May his family and friends find some comfort in knowing how many lives he touched and the love we all have for him.
Radiant Roberta
10/11/2009
What sad news to hear that Richard has died… and yet also, what a gift to see the photo of him, with his warm smile and sparkly eyes.
I met Richard at the AVP International in New Zealand, when he came to spend that time in my country.
His story touched everyone, his living example of transformed grief into loving support and acceptance of all. I feel privileged to have known him. We shared the occasional email, but mostly my connection with him was one of mute appreciation. Living so far away, and at present not being in regular connection with the USA, I know that we weren’t likely to meet in person again. But his presence remains for me, as strongly as it ever was. Dick is one of the people whose stories help polish the jewel that AVP is. One of those ordinary people whose life takes an unexpected turn, whose heart is cracked open, and once the pain had been met and made friends with, heals in even larger size than it was before. And through this journey becomes extra ordinary!
He will no doubt leave a hole in the families and friends who had more contact with him. And in my heart he leaves a sparkling light, and inspiration!
Blessings to him, and all who know and love him. Together we are making a difference through our courage to heal ourselves and the world around us.
Elaine Dyer
New Zealand 10/9/2009
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Friends,
Richard Nethercut was a great man dedicated to the cause of peace, reconciliation and pro-activism regarding his fellow man's transformative processes.
Richard was the epitome of a man dealt a devastatinbg personal blow, that most men would not only reel from, but would not have responded as he did. He not only had a forgiving heart, but made sure the perpetrator's family understood this.
My personal AVP related experiecne with Richard was during a season when we as an organization were seeking to host an annual AVP conference not only in the state of Boston, but on a college campus no less. He and Peg Erlanger consulted me to see if I would lend a living testimony as to the change a man can make who had come away from an extended stay in prison, so that we collectively could convince the powers that were in charge of this particular college to allow us to have our annual AVP conference on their college campus. God made the way and Richard and Peg leant me extra special hospitality. We struggled through it all and were very successful.
Richard was a very determined man interested in the commonweal of us all, while seeking to make our world a safer and more peaceful and kind world.
God has called His son home.
God Bless
Henry Rivera |
| |
| | 10/7/2009
The following is a note I wrote to my friends, Tuck and Bobbie, who informed me of the discovery of Dick's body. I knew Dick from the time of my years as a student minister in Concord MA in the early 80's up to the present. Our journey's remained interconnected through peace and non-violence work and when I started to work with Dick as his "Spiritual Guide" in 1990 to 2008. Dick was an ordinary man who did extraordinay things showing us that we too are as capable to walk in truth, integrity and dignity each in our own human ways if we are willing to open our hearts and to be vulnerable.
Travel well my dear brother in Christ.
Bill Beardslee
++++++++++++++
Dear Tuck,
I returned late last night from a four day retreat to the BEAUTIFUL birthday card from you and Bobbie. Thank you.
And now today I return to email to receive the news that our beloved Richard Nethercut has made the great passage in such a lonely way. I am so saddened by his passing yet relieved that there seems to be no "foul play."
You mentioned my connection with Dick...Tuck, I worked with this man from 1990 until 2008. We traversed territory that few dare to gaze upon, never mind walk. Dick worked so hard to be the best and most faithful person he could be, perhaps even too hard. He has left a legacy on so many levels that all I can do is bow in thanksgiving, grief in heart, tears running down my face hearing the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" He was a true disciple, a man of deepest faith, even in the midst of doubt and struggle. I will miss him terribly.
Thanks you very much for keeping me "in the loop" and love to all who have held Dick in the light and labored for his life in love and friendship.
Peace
Bill |
|
|
|